My last Q&A was with Claire Ross Dunn, the author of the novel At Last Count, and I’m back to talk about the book!
At Last Count was a fast read, but not in a light and fluffy way (although I love those books too!). Since the main character, Paisley, has obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), there is a heaviness to the story, and what kept me reading even when I felt a little heartbroken for her was my desire to know what the heck happened when she was a teenager: Why had she been living in the same dingy apartment since she turned 18, and how could she afford even that in a big city (Toronto) on a part-time salary?
Chapters alternate between the life of current-day (2007), 39-year-old Paisley and that of 13-year-old Paisley in 1981. Both timelines give readers an accurate portrayal of how OCD can manifest (Paisley’s obsessions are around a fear of fire and her compulsions involve checking and counting in series of eight) and how it can disrupt a person’s life. Paisley is smart, has her degree, and has a part-time job, but she has a hard time getting out of the house.
She did not need a relationship. She did not want people in her apartment where she might have to act normal when she wasn’t feeling normal, and most of all, she did not want to have to share her secrets.
At Last Count
I appreciated that although Paisley is nearly 40 her life isn’t together. It’s sad, but it’s real. Since At Last Count is fiction it’s not meant to reflect a perfect world in which Paisley gets a diagnosis as a child, sees a trained and knowledgeable therapist who guides her through exposure and response prevention (ERP), and goes on with her life armed with all the right tools. What it does do is show the reader how confusing her symptoms were to experience, how people who have no idea what OCD is are concerned about Paisley’s counting, and how she wasn’t diagnosed in childhood despite displaying the symptoms for years. Some of her solutions to dealing with her OCD and making it “better” are common but ineffective and downright harmful, showing readers what is a normal lack of knowledge of the disorder.
‘Will things get better if I count eight sets of eight? Will I prevent a fire if I touch each light switch and outlet eight times? Not likely. But I do it anyway.’
Paisley, At Last Count
Readers will feel for Paisley as she struggles—even if they don’t have OCD or understand much about it, the torment is palpable. At Last Count is a sweet, sad, sometimes scary, and somewhat mysterious novel about a woman with OCD, but it’s not just about OCD. For those of us with the disorder, that part is the cherry on top.
Alison Dotson 